


Hedgehog's dilemma

by Purperen_schaap



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Do you believe me if i say this has a happy ending?, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, When a pun is very sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purperen_schaap/pseuds/Purperen_schaap
Summary: It is a character trait believed to be possessed by some individuals, in real life as well as in works of fiction, sometimes causing anti-social behaviours, often allegedly caused by an unpleasant past experience of intimate relationships. A person who suffers from the hedgehog's dilemma will usually avoid becoming too close or involved with someone, due to fear of another similar, possibly painful, experience, such as they had experienced in the past.The story was inspired by an headcanon of drenched-in-sunlight on tumblr :" All that made their interaction in the game kinda off to me at first. but that could also be read as Emhyr being bothered by his own feeling, and decide to shut it down by trying to treat Geralt like everyone else."
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Emhyr var Emreis, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Emhyr var Emreis/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Kudos: 24





	Hedgehog's dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language.  
> I tried my best. ^^

If Emhyr has survived that long it was thanks to the solitude.   
In this world of violence inhabited with people killing each other for theirs own profits,the best way to stay alive was to never trust someone and to never let your emotions take over you.  
Between the overthrow of his father, live as a vagabond with a curse during years and the Nilfgaardian court, which, was worse that a nest of vipers, Emhyr had created a protection, a way to never be hurt again. Because if you showed weakness, they will use this against you.

Then one day came Geralt of Rivia. 

Geralt was different than the people he had met in his life. Geralt had helped him even though he had nothing to win,Geralt didn't care about money, power and politics. He had helped him because he wanted to do the right thing. The most important detail was that Geralt created inside Emhyr a feeling that he had never felt before, not even with his family or Pavetta.

He didn't understand what it was, but it was making him weak. 

Geralt had broken Emhyr's protection.

Emhyr had left emotions taking over him and this was when he had started making mistakes.

One day came Vilgefortz.

He had told him about the prophecy, which was the reason why Emhyr started the Northern Wars. Vilgefortz presented himself as an ally, and he had believed him. 

Vilgefortz was a traitor who wanted power and Pavetta was dead. He had made one mistake, he had dropped his guard and that what killed her wife.

This was his fault.

He never forgave himself for her death, he never mourned because his first reflex had been to suppress the feelings that made him a failure.

He continued to follow the prophecy, which was probably false since the beginning but this was the only that gave him a reason to exist. To justify his acts he used the excuse “ The end justifies the means”. He often repeated this phrase to himself, maybe he was trying to convince himself, because in the end, even him didn't believe in.   
The reign of the White Flame was merciless. This was the thing to do for achieving his objectives and to survive. Loyalty didn't exist, the nobles that had helped him to take back the crown in the past had tried to assassinate him when the war was not profitable for them. The only way to stay alive was to live in the solitude.

But then, he had met Geralt again. 

This feeling when he was around Geralt was frustrating. Because he couldn't help himself dropping his guard, and he never knew why. Once again, his emotions had taken over him. But his meeting with Geralt and his own daughter made him realise something.

He was a horrible father.

The third Northern war was his last chance, either he won or he died. Then an idea hit him :  
After the war, he will abdicate, and he will make Cirilla empress.  
The reasons of this decision were mostly politics but that would be lying if He said that there were no sentimental reasons.  
The problem with the solitude was that it was only you and your feelings, your reflections, your regrets for single company. Following the doctrine “ The ends justifies the mean” didn't stop you from having regrets. 

The sentimental reasons were influenced by regrets. Regrets that made him believe that if Cirilla became the empress he could redeem himself, he could be a father to her, they could be.........

......a family.

Only one person was worthy of trust to found her and this was Geralt.

"Why me?" asked the witcher.

"Because she trusts you" was the answer. 

“Because you are the only person I can trust “ was the true reason.

Even if he thought that he had made a good choice last time he had seen the witcher, he still hated this feeling of weakness and this war was his last chance, and he didn't want to commit any mistakes. 

Geralt must had the same treatment as everybody else.

Ciri is dead. " This was how Geralt concluded his search. 

It's funny how a single phrase can have a lot of impact. 

"How did it happen?" It was hard for him to stay focus,   
to maintain control despite all the things that crossed his mind.

" The Wild cold.....You are familiar with prophecy? Ciri tried to stop it.She did, but paid the ultimite price.

"Where is the body?"Emhyr interrupted him. He almost failed to remain calm, to keep control.

" I doubt it' ll ever be found. "

“Like her mother” he thought, it brought back memories he preferred to forget.

"Who know?"

"Avalac'h elven Sage......But I doubt you'll find him,either. "

"And Yennefer?"

"She decided to stay in the North. Provided you don't object."

" I don't. And you?" He asked himself why this detail was so important. Why the idea of see the witcher leaving made him feel..... anxious? 

"Pleanty of work for witcher after a war. I'll travel east, maybe north......" “He might come to Nilfgaard”. This reflection resembled more a vow than a simple supposition.

"Did Cirilla say....ask you to convey anything?" This question was irrational. The answer will be no use for any plans or strategies. It had no interest, except sentimental.

"We didn't talk about you."

" I see." Deep down, he was not surprise by the answer.

"If there's nothing else....."

"There is. But you may go"

Even if a part of him wanted that Geralt stay....

" Witcher."

...this was the best option,for both of them.

" I do not wish to see you. Ever again."

He asked himself if he was partially responsible for Cirilla's death. If he had send soldiers at Kaer Morhen for support maybe the end of these events would have been different. But it was too late now. It was too late for everything.

Geralt left.Emhyr was alone ,again.


End file.
